Pinney Family: Stories by Braden

Monday, March 16, 2009

Stories by Braden

At school, Braden has been learning how to write stories. I love them, they always make me laugh. You can tell what we are working on with him by the things he comes up with to write. Here is a recent favorite:

First I will not run away and never come back. Next I will do all of my jobs. Then I will be nice to kids. Last I'll do my homework.

Quote of the Week

"My tummy keeps telling me it does NOT want eggs!" --Conner

"I don't know why my brain is telling me to be sneaky! I hate my brain! My heart teaches me about Jesus but my brain tells me to be bad!" --Conner

"When are all the super heroes coming back? Maybe when Jesus comes?" --Conner

"I'm closing all the blinds so the mosquitos and vampires don't see us." --Conner

"I want to go to Jesus' house without the dying!" --Conner

"I don't like living on this street anymore. This street is boring. I want to live at Grandpa's house with you and Mom and Dad and R.J. and Braden and Sienna. Can we all go to Grandpa's house and live there? I want to live at Grandpa's." --Conner

"If you scratch off my skin I won't die! I have new skin under my skin, so it's okay." --Conner

"If you put on a boy dress, then you would be a boy!" --Conner

"I want to give Jesus a hug. Can we please go to Heaven and give Jesus a hug?" --Conner

"Oh my gosh! Whenever I sing along to the radio I sound really bad, but when I'm singing by myself I sound like a rock star. It's so weird." --R.J.

"Does Jesus have special glasses so he can see me?" --Conner

--"Are you dying? You're getting really old, Mom." --Conner

--"I NEED a monster truck! It's my day to get a monster truck!". --Conner

--"I have magic, mom! Dad gave me magic. It makes the dinosaurs die." --Conner

--"Mom, you're a blond, so why wouldn't everyone love you?!" --Braden

--"Dad sounds like a bear hibernating... Or a mama bear sleeping after a kill." --Sienna

-- "I not a boy anymore. I turned back into a baby - a talking baby." --Conner

--"R.J. is a grown up. He's a big boy. R.J. is a strong boy." --Conner

--"You broke the air all day. You grabbed it with your hands and broked it." --Conner

--"You can't have candy, Mommy! You're not little, you're big! You don't NEED candy!" --Conner

--"Dinosaurs poop in their underwear." --Conner

--"Mom, my legs are short! I want some like daddy's." --Conner

--"Mom, I want monkeys in my backyard tomorrow. Please go to the store and get monkeys. The monkeys are at the store." --Conner

--"The pee was coming out ALL day!" --Conner

--"OH NO! The pizza's GONE! The monster ate the pizza!!" --Conner

--"I'm going to go watch TV now, ANGRILY!" --Braden

--"I just randomly know a lot of famous people without anyone telling me. It's so weird." --Braden

--"Very few teachers can handle me." --Braden

--"That butterfly is trying to EAT me!" --Conner

--"There is no such thing as leprechauns. I figured that out on my own." --Braden

--"If there was no gravity, girls would not need bras, because it wouldn't do anything." --Braden

--"Mom, if you smelled my breath, you would actually really like it." --Sienna

--"You're going DOWN!" --Conner

"You know how it's so hard to hide a fart, because everyone can hear it? Well, now they make soundproof underpants so no one can hear it, but your pants move out a little bit." --Braden

--"If we get the world's largest piece of paper, we can make the world's largest paper airplane. Then, we need the world's largest fan, and we can fly." --Braden

--Sienna: "Dad, where are you going?"
Dad: "Crazy! Do you want to come?"
Sienna: "Sure, but we need to be home in time for dinner."

--"Is it true that the fatter you are, the larger the underpants you need?" --Braden

--"Do you know why I watch shows like 'I Shouldn't Be Alive' and Monsters Inside Me?' It's so I'm prepared in case something happens to me, then I will know what to do." --Braden

--"I'm 25% human, and 75% awesome. Put THAT on your blog!" --R.J.

--"January is my month off from stealing all of R.J.'s things." --Braden

--"At night after I eat, I still only weigh 60 pounds! That means I'm not eating enough. You're not feeding me!" --Braden

--"I'm 25% normal human, 25% killer, 25% strategy, and 25% awesome dude." --Braden

--"Mom, I hope no one gets confused and thinks you're my older sister." --Sienna

--"Maybe Grandpa is a BILLIONAIRE because he gives away HUNDREDS of dollars every year." --Braden

--"I see jiggly arms. That means nonmuscular." --Braden

--"I think I'm going to marry someone I met in preschool. I REALLY like him, mom." --Sienna

--"Mom, I have unappropriate dreams, my dreams are unappropriate." --Braden

--"So, Conner came out of your stomach and I came out of your... um... well... I shouldn't talk about that." --Braden

--"Why don't they make sweater holes for plus-sized heads?" --Braden

--"Sand actually doesn't taste too bad. It's just hard and crunchy, that's why I don't like it so much." --RJ

--"This popsicle has a really good smell, it's like air freshener." --Sienna

--"Kids are supposed to mostly watch TV. It teaches you things." --Sienna

--"In Africa they have spears and they're not afraid to use them!" --Braden

--"Sometimes, getting beat up helps you get a girl." --RJ

--"Talking and breathing is a problem." --Braden (after throwing up)

--"How could anyone have an ipod and NOT want to dance?!" --Sienna

--"I'm a smart girl, Braden, so stop! I've had enough of your tricks!" --Sienna

--"The world's tallest person is 27 feet and 30 inches." --Sienna

-- "We're having ice cream! It has guilt!" --Braden

--"In Spain they have bull fights and they kill the bull. That is a waste of a bull." --Braden

--"Soup is no good without buttered bread." --RJ

--"If the President says we have to eat oreos every single hour, we're going to get a sugar rush." --Sienna

--"Maybe mom and dad should break up and get married again and then they'll get to have more dates." --Sienna

--"Magic Meatball is insanely awesome!" --Sienna

--"I just went on a ride that was the worstest and bestest ride ever! It went 100 miles an hour and it made my lips move!" --Braden

--"Conner is so cute when he sleeps. I just want to wake him up and tell him how cute he is." --Sienna

--"I know why I have to wash my hands. It's because the grasshoppers peed and pooped and barfed on me. --Sienna

--"Grandma is single?! At HER age??? And NOOO husband?" --Braden

-- "I think Braden was put into the wrong family." --Sienna

-- "We can pack our stuff before we die and put it in the hole with us. Our spirits can carry the suitcases." --Sienna

--"I feel like an overheated sausage!" --Braden

--"When I grow up I want to build cars. I want to make them fly, with wings that pop out of the sides, and I will make them like a rocketship!" --Braden

-- "Conner LOOKS cute and friendly, but he can be ferocious." --RJ

-- "I want to be a pregnant man when I grow up." --Braden

-- "You shouldn't let go of your parachute. You know why? Because then you would fall out of the sky." --Sienna

-- "When they're ignoring me and I'm ignoring them, it works out pretty well. But when they're being irritating, it doesn't work out so well." --RJ

-- "Baby milk smells like a dumpster." --Sienna

-- "Sienna is the baddest one in our WHOLE family!!" --Braden

-- "NEVER trust yourself to jump out of a boat." --Sienna

-- "RJ does NOT like broccoli, so I'm thinking that's why he's not as strong as dad." --Sienna